Confession: Hi I’m Vicci, no I’m not an addict, I have a rare incurable autoimmune disease, called Systemic Lupus Erythematosus; usually I’m ok with it but some days it gets me down. It makes a lot of things wrong with my body, and with inside my head. It affects a lot of things and causes me a lot of pain. Sometimes keeping up with them all gets too much. I don’t tell people that I’m in pain because they can’t help me, this is just my life now. I don’t remember what living without feeling pain feels like, I don’t have days like that anymore. That may sound sad but that’s what happens, that’s what I’m used to now. There’s no point explaining how I’m always in pain, how I feel, about my illness etc. Before I had it I’d never have understood. And even with it I still don’t understand.
The number of people who look at me at say how can you be in pain you look fine? Or you’re looking a lot better today! When was the last time you knew what someone looked like being in pain from their body attacking itself huh?
I’m not doing this so people feel sorry for me or pity me. I get your sympathy, but you also need to understand that whether I tell people I’m in pain or not, I still am. And usually I say nothing because it’s easier for people to either not know I feel like this or to forget that I do. I just want you to be more aware of invisible illnesses, because people don’t all walk around showing or saying they’re in pain. It doesn’t mean they aren’t, it means they’re trying to be strong for the people they care about.